Kaa Pata Kaise...

Scene 3

Location: Pediatric ward of a certain Municipal Hospital

Bhayyani admits her 2 yr old daughter who's down with diarrhea.

Two days later she comes in with another kid, a son of about 10 months, same reason.


The staff nurse is amused to know that our bhayyani who looks like a kid herself actually has 2 kids. Bhayyani, a caring mother, comes in everyday with a dabba for her kids twice a day though she looks ill herself. Finally one day the nurse asks our bhayyani...

Sister(that's what a nurse is called): Ae, idhar aao. Tumhari tabiyat theek hai naa?
Bhayyani: Haan, mujhe kya hua hai...
Sister: Agar theek ho to fir itna sambhal ke, araam se kyu chalti ho? Ki tumahara bhi pet kharab hai?
Bhayyani: Arre, aisi koi baat nahi hai. Woh hamar 7 wa mahina hai naa, toh isiliye...
Sister(surprised): Kya?! Tumhe dekh ke toh nahi lagta ki tumhe ab teesra baccha hoga.
B: Nahi, nahi. Ghar pe 3 bacche aur hai. Yaha 2 hai..aur pet mein chatwa hai.
Sister(raised eyebrows): Kyaa?!! (patiently) Aisa nahi karna chahiye tumhe..kuch samajhta hai ki nahi?
B: Abb kaa pata...Bacche ek ke piche ek kaise pet mein aavat hai...
Sister: ................


---------------THE END-------------

healthybakchodi

globalization through a different POV. . . .

there was a incedent ..there was this party ..and few friends had come ...they were drinking whisky and beer...the ones who were drinking beer went to the loo quite often...so this topic started... a lot of beer = a lot of susu after 1 hour ....they discussed the need of public toilets...coz when u have too much beer and even use the washroom of the pub/bar at the time of leaving ..u still want to pee more within half an hour or so....

and how it will make life simpler for both men and mumbai especially in a city like mumbai where population density is so high that gravity sucks it!! knowing good places where u can de-pressurize is actually considered good knowledge..  guy who know exactly in which part of the city there are clean toilets...both private and public..have higher preferences of finding a fair MBA bride on online marriage portals :| ...it is good GK for mumbaikars.. :|

*
specially when in India toilets are considered filthy and holy...paan stains graffiti and what not.. .i wonder thats why some assholes NGO guys put condom dispensing machines in urinals...i mean...some1 horny...wanting a women... have to go to a urinal to buy a cheap condom.. sala ooska khada lund bhi wapis so jaaayega..... Yucks tucks.. (typical tapori mumbai language :P)

then in a conservative society like india...these chediot NGO guys put up condom dispensing machins in public places like railway stations :D ( no1 has ever figured out why...) (chediot = chutiya who is a idiot)
*

coming back to toilets... there was a dearth need of good toilets in cities like mumbai... and then ....and then
.
.
globalization said.. let there be malls.. let there be supermarkets.. let there be CCD..let there be Mcdonalds... let there be barista.. inorbit...raghuleela..
cleaner public toilets with soap and tissue paper and of course WATER!!
:D :D

Jo BMC decades mein kar naa saka...woh corporates ne kar dikhaya..


PS: one graffiti next to a public toilet in delhi somewhere near multani danda ,,,near paharganj

healthybakchodi

Khilona

A lady in my neighborhood lost her husband about a year ago.
He was young and had a heart attack.

His wife was in deep shock it seemed...she didn't utter a single word since she saw the dead body of her husband. She just sat there and stared.
Everybody around tried to make her cry or at least say something but she sat there like a statue...

Finally when they prepared to take his body away...she screamed and well, sang a song which made us wanna laugh so bad that I almost ran away from there. And she sang it with such poise.
The song goes like this in marathi-

"Maza khelna gela ga....baaii..
Ata mi kaay karuu..."

(I've lost my toy, what am I going to do without it)

"Ata mi konashi khelu.."

(Who will I play with now)



healthybakchodi

Puja.....

Scene 2

Location: Early morning, Labour Ward of a Municipal Hospital.

Enter bhaiyyani at 2 am. Bhaiyyani in labour pains.

The on-duty staff nurse shifts her to the delivery table.

The nurse is taken aback when she finds "Haldi-Kunku" on the bhaiyyani's private parts.
Nurse(raised eyebrows): Yeh kya hai?
B: Ghar se nikalte waqt hamar Sasur ne puja kiya...pehli baar hai aur ladka chahiye naa...
N: .....

------The End------

healthybakchodi

Bhaiyya ko poochooo.....

Location: Gynaec OPD at a municipal Hospital

Scene 1

Enter bhaiyyani...recently imported frm UP with her bhaiyya (pun unintended)
Guys stand outside while the doc talks to patients.
So our intern here questions the bhaiyyani..

Doc: Toh kya takleef hai?mahina kab aaya tha pichli baar?
B: Kaa maloom..
Doc: Kaa maloom ka matlab kya hai?...seedha sawaal hai. Mahina hamesha time pe ata hai kya?
B: Kaa pata...
Doc(irritated) : Thaili se pani jata hai ki khoon jata hai..takleef kya hai??
B: Kaa pata...bhaiyya ko poocho.
Doc: Bulaao bhaiyya ko.

Bhaiyya gives our doc all the info about her mahina...and abt her(?!) takleef..

Doc: Apni biwi ko sikhao jara...gaav se aayi hai toh kya hua..itna pata hona chahiye.

Bhaiyya: Arre yeh hamari biwi nahi hai...yeh toh hamar bajuwali hai.

----The End----


healthybakchodi

save tigers drink beer :D

according to some survey there are only 1141 tigers left in India... no no..they are not counting the Mr. Shersings in punjab and Mr. Waghs in maharashtra... come to think of tigers ...bling bling... tiger woods ne to kamal kar diya... ek nahi do nahi... poore ke poore 18 holes hasil karne ki koshish ki... and i am sure hasil kar bhi diye hoge... may be all those holes didnt make a public appearance...

btw....hamare bengal mein bhi ek tiger hai... and maharashtra mein bhi....:P ... both rocking hard in their own field...

now here is a letter that i don't know who has written but i know who forwarded it to me on gmail. it was non other than the bengal tiger Dhruv chakrabarti

| |

What Tiger Woods Wanted to Say at His Press Conference 

Let me just say to all my fans that I feel sorry for everyone who criticized me for my extra-marital affairs.  You must live a miserable existence if you have nothing better to do than read about my personal life in the tabloids.  But I suppose I should provide an explanation about my behavior so that you will continue to buy the products I endorse.

So here goes.  I am an average looking man of mixed racial descent.  Like most men, I had trouble getting pussy before I became a famous multimillionaire.  I did okay at Stanford because I was on the golf team, but the women there graded out with a D because they were leftovers that players on the football team didn't want.  Before that, I got nothing because I have a bland personality and big lips.

Then, I win a few golf tournaments and women are lining up at my door.  Of course, I took advantage of my opportunities.  These were women who wouldn't give me the time of day if I sold insurance or worked on a used car lot.  They wanted me so they could brag to their friends about having sex with a celebrity, while holding the belief that one day they would live a life of luxury as the wife of Tiger Woods.  When that didn't happen, they seized on an opportunity to sell their story to the tabloids, all the while looking the part of a woman scorned.

Now I want to discuss my wife.  When I met Elin, she was just like the others, except she played the hard-to-get strategy that women often use to corral men.  It worked.  She had all the qualities I wanted in a woman:  pretty face, nice tits, nice ass, and an inviting personality.  We dated for a while, had wild sex, and we genuinely enjoyed others company.  When I asked her to marry me, she accepted.  Why wouldn't she?  Only an idiot would say no to a lavish lifestyle that most people only dream about.

Our marriage was okay.  We have two wonderful children and Elin is a good mother.  But since she had those kids, she's become a bitch, and doesn't want to have sex very often.  And, she won't accompany me on road trips, except to the major championships.  Unfortunately, my job requires that I travel to a different city every week where women nod approvingly at me where ever I go.  Do you see the problem here?

To all the men out there:  What would you have done in my shoes?  Would you have said no to all the woman who lined up to meet you, especially after listening to your wife bitch at you over the telephone for not spending enough time at home with her and the kids?  And to all the women:  How many of you would have turned down an opportunity to spend a night with me, knowing that you could sell your story to a tabloid for 500K?

I feel bad about the potential damage my actions might cause my kids.  As for Elin, I can think of at least 300 million reasons why she will be okay if we divorce and she is forced to survive on her own.  And don't forget that vast support network she will have after appearing on Oprah and Fox.

As for me, I have paid dearly for my transgressions.  I have lost millions and might lose custody of my children.  A good number of you feel great pleasure seeing me in pain.

The letters "Saint" or "St." do not precede my name. 

Did I become famous for being a model married man, or was it because I'm the best damn golfer in the world???

Now here I stand, while you sit there anxiously waiting to hear my heartfelt apology, when all I really want to tell you is ... Fuck Off

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now coming to the most important part ... go please support http://www.saveourtigers.com/
tigers are really important for our planet ... 


 



else the only tigers we shall have/remember/find on google are the ones below....

PS : "save tigers drink beer" would really make a awesome T-shit :D

:(
healthybakchodi